So So Tired

man, i just can't get used to this "working" thing. i keep trying to go to bed earlier to get more sleep, but it never works or it's never enough!! as each day passes, i find myself more and more tired. i'm struggling to stay awake at work and i even find myself trying to sneak in some long "blinks" cause i can't keep my eyes open.

how tired am i? let's look at today, i had to make myself stand up at my desk today to stay awake as i tried to read a document. and it's really sad, but i'm finding myself planning out how i can evenly spread out my trips to get more water and to go to the bathroom so that it breaks up my day.

i really hope my project picks up the pace soon and gets rolling...i don't think i can stand more "slow paced" days like today. and i definitely need to either get my body "trained" for less sleep or figure out how to get more.

Gotta Stay Focused!

i've been struggling lately with trying to stay focused on the blessings in my life instead of dwelling on the negatives. i keep letting the negatives get to me which brings me down, and in turn, my patience level keeps getting lower and i find myself focusing more and more on "me". boo! i don't like it when i get like this.

so...i'm going to keep writing about the "blessings" and good things in my life cause hopefully it'll make me able to focus on them more, but this definitely does not mean that i don't have some struggles going on. i just don't want to focus so much on them.

blessings/goodies from this week:
- having the opportunity to relax and unwind by watching an awesome amazing race finale with cassie. there was lots of emotion and intensity, and one of my favorite teams won!
- hanging out with my cousin/ex-roomie who is visiting this week. we saw a sneak preview of "first daughter"
- spending time hanging out with my old roomies this weekend. it was a fun reunion weekend with all of us together again. it, of course, centered around food...first hosoonyi and then a big homemade brunch/breakfast
- receiving my first paycheck after one week of work...it sure is nice to have some money coming in again
- basic had a large turnout tonight...it was nice getting a chance to talk to and see lots of students i haven't seen in awhile
- having kelvin and kevin lead worship for basic/ttic for the first time! praise God!
- God also totally provided a last minute speaker for basic this week allowing us, regular leaders, to spend more time with out-of-town friends

yes, i know...what a "horrible" life i must have with so many good things going on. exactly! that's my point...by focusing on the negative i'm wasting or missing out on all the blessings God is giving me. must stay focused!

note: i finally caved in and bought myself a tivo! it wasn't that easy to setup (eventhough everyone said it was), and i probably need to get a new tv to be able to do what i want to do, but it really is a nice nifty little toy. yay!

The Tide is Coming In

i'm back at work again, summer is over, basic has started, prime time is just around the corner, friends are visiting, wedding showers are a plenty, my parents are coming...the "tide" is coming in again!

it seems that the "busyness" of life seems to come and go like swells or ocean tides. and i'm sadly realizing that most of these "tides" are of my own doing. when the swell gets to be really big and almost over my head, i start cutting back on things and it slowly recedes. but then i'll bring the tide back in again when i realize i have "extra" time on my hands, and it starts all over. in and out, up and down.

although i know that things don't have to be this way, i'm still trying to figure out that "balance" thing. at least there is a constant thru all of these swells, though.

now, if only i could remember to stand on that "rock" instead of trying to keep my head above water myself. hmmm...

Do the Puyallup!

i finally got to go to the puyallup fair after missing it the past couple of years. these pics pretty much say it all! yum, yum, yum! so much fun!





note: the weird looking thing is a fried snickers bar. i'm bummed we didn't get to try the fried twinkies. but i guess i'll have to save that for next year!

Back To The Grind

i've come to the end of my 1st official week back at work, and it surprisingly wasn't that bad. there were struggles, but there were blessings too. all in all, it was a good first week.

some blessings/struggles from the week:
*Struggle/Blessing* attempted to find a starbucks near my project site monday morning, and drove around for half an hour going in all directions before i finally found one! it's crazy how many starbucks you can find in seattle in a one block radius, but on the eastside there's nothing within a half a mile radius!! (later i learned that there's a starbucks inside my building, but i needed to wait until i got my security badge to be able to use that one)

*Blessing* found out how surprisingly easy it is to remember how to be a "consultant" again. it's weird how everything kinda comes rushing back and makes the past 6 months seem not so long anymore.

*Struggle* learned my biggest struggle with working again is trying to go to sleep earlier. i have to wake up at 6:30a, but i still keep going to bed after midnight!! i didn't get much sleep this week, and my body is going to start rebelling soon if i don't figure out how to got to bed earlier. long gone are the days that i got a consistent 8 hrs!

*Blessing* great co-workers! i really like my co-workers and i've enjoyed getting to know them this week. i even had "bonding" time with one of them as we struggled in the office together to get all the necessary software installed.

*Struggle* i'm learning that the insurance industry is a very slow-paced environment. it's going to be tough to stay motivated and productive when everyone does things so slowly. i also find myself checking the time every half an hour, but this will probably get better as i get more things to do.

*Blessing* i'm also learning that the insurance industry is also good b/c everyone works very consistent hours. this project has mandatory 40 hr weeks (yippee) and by 5:30p everyone's gone! it's so weird! i can totally get used to this!

*Struggle* there's one little thing that is going to continue to irk me about working at this insurance company. they're totally obsessed with security! they have all the web-based email sites blocked and no instant messengers too! i feel so cut-off from the world...i can't check email...can't chat with friends...how am i supposed to keep up on things??? i'm actually supposed to work every single minute i'm there?!?!

*Struggle/Blessing* it's great getting to leave by 5p, but the traffic absolutely SUCKS!!! it took me almost an hour on thursday to get to beacon hill and i was in a terrible mood by then...luckily i was able to pray a little and calm down by watching some of the amazing race before bible study!

What Would You Do If...

so, what would you do if you were driving home and the car in front of you pulls over and let's you pass. but then, the car starts following you thru a residential neighborhood? do you speed up and try to lose them? do you change your course and turn down little residential streets? do you start driving towards a major street? do you keep thinking "i really wish i hadn't left my cell phone at home"?

i've only had one previous experience with cars that pull over, let you pass and then follow you...and it wasn't good (ask me later if you want to know). but this time, i didn't think it was the same thing b/c i wasn't doing anything wrong...i don't think.

anyways, the car following me finally turned off as i headed for a major street. i didn't look to see where they went b/c i didn't want them to know that i knew they were following me. but, as i headed back to my house again i kept looking around for the car. creepy!

It's Official!

yes, today i made it official. i went downtown to sign all of the paperwork to become a 2DC consultant. next week i'll be starting on a new project out in redmond.

yes, redmond, "home" to the 520 corporate road warriors/road ragers. needless to say, i'm not too happy with my project's location, but everything else has worked out great so i guess i can't really complain. i'll just be spending a lot more time on the eastside trying to avoid rush hour traffic.

i must admit, i'm feeling a bit sad knowing my days of leisure are numbered, but i am looking forward to this new project. it's been awhile since i've been thrown into the total unknown...and the insurance industry is definitely that. but, i feel that God has really hand selected this place/project for me, and i'm excited to see what's coming up. in my quiet times He's been emphasizing to me about the power of "truth" and also the "patience" needed. hmm...wonder where this is leading me.

in any case, i guess i'll have a lot of time to contemplate/pray about it during my commute...at least i hope that's what i'll be doing instead of becoming another bitter seattle driver.

What's Cooking? Vol. 6

sadly, this will probably be my last "what's cooking?" entry for awhile, since i'll be going back to work next week. i totally give those working parents props for being able to work a full time job and still cook for their families!

so, today i finally attempted to make "gau". gau is a chinese dessert that is usually made/bought and eaten around chinese new years. it's sticky and sweet with a sort of mochi like consistency.

actually, in hawaii, we call it "gau". but since i go to a chinese church, i was quickly informed that "gau" means "dog". and after much debate and finally going to the web to find a picture, they informed me that it's pronounced...oh, who am i kidding. i don't know how to write the word in chinese, let alone say it. to me, it's "gau" *EDIT* i found out in chinese it's called "neen goh". thx, mary.

anyways, i have to say, i was quite surprised by the way it turned out since it was a microwave recipe. i also didn't know that there are only 3 main ingredients: chinese brown sugar, coconut milk and mochiko. it looked a little funny when it came out b/c it doesn't normally have a hole in the center, but it tasted pretty much like the real thing. what a fitting end to my foray into the cooking world!

We Are Family

this labor day weekend i went to my very first cbc family retreat. i finally decided to check out this retreat after attending cbc for almost 7 years. in the past, i never felt called to go b/c i felt it was more for the "families", but this year i decided to go b/c i had heard the students rave about the youth speaker and i wanted to check him out.

and i'm happy to say that i'm really glad i went! this retreat was not like any other retreat i've ever been to (and i've been to many). i felt like this retreat was unique & special b/c it had so many generations of people there, and i was able to help out with the youth program yet hang out with "older" people too!

i felt like this weekend was a great example of what it means to be a part of God's family b/c i was able to:
- have fun w/kids from my vbs group this summer
- teach crafts to students from my sunday school class
- hang out w/teens from jr high and high school
- share a cabin w/some 3rd service women
- talk to parents of the high school students
- teach a couple of "popos" how to make fish keychains

ever since God brought me to cbc as a non-believer, i've felt totally blessed by the brothers & sisters at cbc who have welcomed me and encouraged me and helped me to grow in my faith. although there have been many trials and obstacles at our church over the past years, God has remained faithful and it has continued to be a place that i can feel at "home".

i read this verse, 2 Timothy 1:5, at the retreat on saturday, "I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also." and it reminded me of the rich legacy of "sincere faith" that has continued on at cbc & will hopefully continue on for many more generations.

Faster Than A Speeding Bullet

yes, it's true...after 3 interviews, some studying and a lot of praying. i officially received a job offer from the company i've been meeting with. God has definitely been good to me throughout this process. i've had to continually seek His will for my life and seek to turn my will into His will thru the roller coaster of the past 2 weeks. it's been good.

i also know that i've been totally blessed by this "short" job search process (hence the title), and i'm grateful for God's blessings in working things out. i'm even actually excited to start work b/c of this project they told me about that they (and i) think i'd be perfect for. it starts in a week and a half from now...i know, real soon! i guess sometimes God works faster than we're comfortable with or are expecting. wow, strange, huh?

one thing God has also been speaking to me about during this process is that when i do begin this job, i need to focus on the people and develop stronger relationships with my co-workers. i didn't do this very well at my last job, and God's been convicting me that i need to focus on this more. "bloom where you're planted!"

so, i just need to work a couple of things out with the company, and hopefully by the end of next week i'll be back in the "real world", a real "productive" citizen, a "9 to 5"-er...whatever that means! thanks to everyone for their prayers!

Weeding Out Completed!

on sunday, i finally completed a task that i've wanted to do ever since i quit my job back in march...cleaning out my closet! but, i could not have accomplished this task without the prodding and crucial help of my long-time friend/ex-roommate. in fact, i owe this entire achievement to her b/c she basically went thru my closet and "made" me get rid of clothes that i haven't worn in years! and i'm totally grateful for it.

in fact, there's just something about friends like her that i've known for (wow!) an amazing 15 years (more than half my life) that are priceless. i have a few friends like her that i've known since 7th grade, and we've managed to keep in touch with each other despite all of the moves and changes that come with growing older. sure, there have been some years with gaping holes of contact, but on a whole we've been friends for what seems like forever.

this friend, in particular, i was roommates with for 7 years (her entire time in seattle). and this weeding out is just an example of why her friendship is priceless to me. she knows me so well that she can go thru all of the junk and embarrassingly old clothes hidden in my closet (without me asking her to), and tell it to me straight that it needs to "go". she can tell me all of this even though she moved away 2 years ago and we don't see or talk to each other very often anymore. for friends like these time apart doesn't really diminish their "closeness".

she's not the only friend either that i have that can tell me like it is, and i'm truly blessed by these friendships. these next couple of months will be a blast since she will be in seattle working on a project.